Leaving My Pack Behind

Here in Armenia but I’ve still got Georgia on my mind! During our time in Georgia, Team Firefall went trekking through the mountains of Svaneti. As I continue to sit and reflect on my time in Georgia, I become more thankful for the adventure God created for us. It was something only He could have written. Each day felt like three days- there were so many laughs, dreams met, lessons from the Lord, and victories won as a team. At times it felt like an Exodus wandering, but God was truly with us every step of the journey, and we experienced the fruit of His presence and provision. He constantly challenged me to be obedient and full of faith, starting from our very first prayer…

 When we landed in Georgia, all we had was an AirB&B for about 3 days- no plans beyond that. We would be doing ATL- God is our host- and went into listening prayer curious about what He would have for us during our time in Georgia. Each one of us received different pieces to the same puzzle: trekking through the mountains of Georgia. It was clear that God wanted our team to retreat to the mountains in order to grow as a community and deepen our relationship with Him, but this was to be much bigger than an ordinary backpacking trip. 

When I was praying, the Lord showed me a vision: I was in the mountains, but not mountains I had ever seen before. I saw my teammates hiking in front of me carrying their big packs. I suddenly became aware that I was missing something. In the vision, I looked over my shoulder, and I didn’t have a pack. This was weird- a pack is naturally the first thing you need for a backpacking trip. God revealed that my things were being carried in my teammates’ backpacks. 

With the vision, God told me to leave my pack behind. We were to rotate the our packs, taking turns carrying, while one person walks free each day. If we were obedient, we were going to learn how to physically and spiritually bear each other’s burdens. As we went into Georgia, our team wanted to go deeper with each other and with God. God showed me that in order to get there, we would have to learn how to work as a team and rely on Him like never before. 

As I sat with the vision, I had a “yes” in my spirit, but a “yeah but…” in my head. How would it work logistically? How would I pack? What will it be like to carry my friend’s burdens? What obstacles would we face, and how will God show up? 

Despite questions and hesitations, we took what we received and immediately stepped into action. We spent one full day preparing, planning, and packing. We put the majority of our things into storage, bought final supplies, and met with some local guides who helped us solidify our daily itinerary. The next morning, we caught a bus and we were off to the start of our trek. 

The packing situation played a big hand in shaping the trek altogether. We were asked to leave things behind and to bring little (Luke 10), so that we might detach from the world and fully rely on God. God asked us to be obedient and to have faith, and He promised that He would provide all that we needed. Every morning we would wake up and ask the Lord who should be “pack-less” that day, and how the packs should be divvied out. Carrying others’ packs on the trail felt a little unnatural. It was uncomfortable to wear a pack that didn’t fit me as well as my own. Plus, it was frustrating to carry weight that wasn’t mine- weight that I had no control over. I couldn’t drop anything to make it lighter, or change the configuration and balance. My days without a pack were surprisingly worse. At first, I maybe even hated it. Because I felt capable to carry a pack, I was hesitant to let my teammates carry one for me. Though I tried to pack light, I still felt guilty for what I did bring. I kept thinking, “If I just had my pack…” 

If we all brought our packs, we probably still would have grown and been challenged, but God wanted to do a completely extraordinary work- requiring extraordinary acts of faith and obedience. The daily challenges created from our packing was God’s refining fire. 

First, He showed me how I had previously been participating in the Body. For most of my life, I have hoarded my “burdens.” In community- even trusted Godly community- I keep too much to myself. I tell myself my burdens are too heavy, too cumbersome, and unwanted. In pride and stubbornness, I tell myself it’s my mess to deal with. With friends and family, my desire for efficiency and resolution completely takes over. In my pride, I feel that I am capable and responsible resolving whatever the issue is. This isn’t His design. He doesn’t want me to carry my burdens alone, denying others the opportunity to love and serve me. He also doesn’t want me to take others’ burdens from them and try to fix everything for them. God wanted to replace my pride with humility, vulnerability, and tenderness towards others. 

Second, God worked to grow my trust in Him. My hesitancy to leave things behind and a fear of going without both stemmed from a lack of faith. I knew that God could provide for me, but I still wondered if He would. If He would, then how? Was I going to listen to my own understanding and rely what’s normal, or would I listen to God’s voice and choose to believe in His extraordinary works? 

When I left my pack behind, I became more reliant on the Lord and yielded to His plans. God had so much in store for me on the trek, and this was the first step to getting there. 

Want to see the evidence of God’s presence and provision? Want to experience kingdom on Earth? Want to experience true community? Leave your pack behind, rely on the body, trust in Him!